How to Battle Negative Self Talk


"You can't have a positive life, with a negative mind."  

- Unknown- 

Most of us have an inner critic that doubts you and tells you that you aren’t good enough. But talking to yourself this way can really bring you down and affect the way you go through life. No one deserves to feel bad about themselves. You should be your biggest cheerleader! Today I'm sharing a few techniques that have helped me along the way. 

Before we get started, I think it's important to understand negative self-talk: 

We all have that inner voice, but does that inner voice cheer you on or bring you down? Most people struggle with some sort of negative self-talk. It’s what happens when we put ourselves down, don’t believe in ourselves, and blame ourselves for things that may or may not be true or even our fault.

But how can we stop talking to ourselves negatively? Today I'm sharing a few techniques that I've learned during my journey. 

Validate Your Feelings

Sometimes it’s ok to validate your feelings. Rather than overanalyzing the way you feel and trying to fix things when negative thoughts come into your head, try just acknowledging them and not making a big deal out of it.

The problem with negative self-talk is that sometimes one negative thought can lead to another when we realize what we’re telling ourselves and want to correct it. Then we’re scolding ourselves further for the negative self-talk. So instead of doing that, acknowledge the negative self-talk and move on from it rather than lingering on it or beating yourself up over it which only adds to the negativity.

Talk Back!

Have you ever tried talking back to your inner critic? Give it a try! When you say something negative about yourself, or you make an assumption about someone else thinking negatively about you, talk back to yourself and have somewhat of a conversation.

For example, if your inner critic is telling you that your boss is mad at you because of a recent interaction and it must be because of something you did, challenge that. Ask yourself why you might think that, alternatives to what your boss might actually be thinking, and what’s the more realistic situation.

It can also help to talk back as if you were talking to a child or a stranger. We tend to be kind to children and people we don’t know well, so talking to yourself the way you would talk to a child can help you talk back in a way that’s less harsh or negative.

Ask for help

If you really struggle with negative self-talk and you just need a little help, don’t hesitate to ask for it. If you’re comfortable talking to a friend that cares about you and gives you good advice, maybe they can help you work through your negative self-talk by being a voice of reason.

Alternatively, therapy can be a good option for many people. Years ago people used to think that only people with big issues needed therapy, but now it’s pretty common for people to go to therapy just to have an unbiased party to talk to about what’s going on in their lives. A therapist is trained in listening and working with you, so they can help you work through your negative self-talk and give you some ideas on how to battle it on your own as well.

Having some negative self-talk is normal, but if you’re at a point where your negative self-talk is more prominent than your positive self-talk it’s probably time to work on shifting the way you talk to yourself.

(Outfit Details - Dress, Zara; Purse- Gap)

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